Posted by: comfortjunkie | July 29, 2008

Getting what you’ve always wanted

I read a post on Wide Lawns today about the manifestation of desires (title: How to Get Jobs and World Series Tickets). You guys know I love that stuff, I really do. There is no other way to explain the way things have turned out for me.

First of all, there are some things I just know. When I arrived at my first job interview in Boston and saw the building, I knew I had the job. It was before I stepped in the building and before my interview. I had actually driven there before the day before my interview just to make sure I didn’t get lost the day of, and I knew right then and there. Sure enough, they dragged it out over most of my cross country drive (I found out in Tennessee), but I got the job.

I also knew when I got the first email from HR regarding a position at a major cosmetics company that I was going to work for them. They really took me to town, five interviews, tests, drug screening, but I got the job.

My whole life I’ve wanted to move to Mexico, well, since I was eight. Suddenly in a particularly dark period of my life, the opportunity presented itself perfectly. Has it been a total picnic? No, but I’m way better off than I ever was in the United States. I work for myself, I’ve written a book, I learned to dive. Oh, and I live in paradise, a tropical wonderland.

I absolutely believe with 100% of my heart that my book will sell and it will make the best seller list. And not to be cocky or jinx myself, but I believe 100% that I will get this writing job too.  The trick is to do something that you are great at so that you have the confidence to pull it off. If my goal was to figure skate in the olympics, no matter how hard I wished and hoped and believed I could do it, I would fail, horribly. Mainly because I can’t ice skate and thus have no confidence that I could compete at it.

So the other trick is to believe you are great at something. You really have to. You can’t believe you are okay or average or that you suck. You have to really believe that you are great at what you do whether it’s because of your education, experience or natural ability.

So once you have conviction, you can’t give up. It would have been easy for me to say, “oh, I will never move to mexico because I don’t speak Spanish and I can’t get a job there. Maybe some day when I retire…” LAME. I tried learning Spanish at home, I bought travel magazine and I looked at the globe whenever I could. I never stopped fantasizing. In my daydreams, I was sitting on a white lounge chair with my laptop writing a great novel (loosely based on my life, of course). There was a little table that held my cool, tropical drink. I could hear the ocean and watch the waves and I was shaded by a palm tree. I saw that vision every time I felt like throwing myself under a bus. SOME DAY. SOME DAY. It didn’t matter that I didn’t have a concrete plan (although I made one before I did actually move and it predictably failed, like most well laid plans), I had the desire and the belief that I would achieve the one thing I wanted. Of course, once I achieved it, I floundered for a while with no sense of direction or purpose, suffered an existential crisis and believed that the rest of my life would be empty of meaning, but that’s another post.

Do not settle and do not give up. Like Wide Lawns, I tell everyone about my dreams, wants, wishes and desires. You never know who might be in a position to make it happen for you.

In fact, if you will recall when I was writing my book proposal for my own book, I wrote to the author of the all-time best selling book on Mexico for an endorsement. I pushed away all the fear and doubt (he’ll hate my book, he’ll think it’s stupid, he’ll think that I’m not taking it seriously enough, he’ll think it’s competition, etc…) and I gritted my teeth and wrote a very sincere email about how it was this book that inspired me to live my dream at the age of 35 and move permanently to Mexico. As it turns out, he loved my book. He made some suggestions which I saw as very wise and I implemented them. He endorsed my book too.

So today I wrote this same person for a more general endorsement about my writing and knowledge on the subject matter and it turns out that the editor that I am turning in my proposal to is the EXACT same person he’s worked with on the last three editions of his own book. Not only did I get an endorsement but he sent it her directly. Kismet. And I never would have gotten it if I hadn’t asked.

So there.



  1. I love you so much! This post made me cry and miss you terribly! I don’t think I have heard you this positive in my whole life and it delights me to no end to know you are happy where you are. Of course I wish that place was closer to me, but I know we will have many more moments in our lifetime.

  2. DITTO

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