Posted by: comfortjunkie | July 29, 2008

I do not like things that are chunky.

Lately there have been floaty things in my water. I do not like chunky water. Miracle of all miracles, the water guy finally decided to cruise down our “street” or river bed, if you prefer. Since I had a delivery of all three of my 5 gallon bottles, I decided to drain the cooler completely and clean it. Now, I have a counter top water cooler that has recently stopped cooling my water except for the barest amount, turning warm water into luke warm water, if you will. There doesn’t seem to be any visible way of cleaning this machine. I assume it has a filter that could be cleaned if I knew where it was and how to get to it. I would like to take the reservoir out and clean that too, maybe the lines, but alas, it is one solid brick of plastic held together from the back with hearty looking screws.  Cold water is not something I can live without here, so I am going to be forced to purchase a $34,000 water cooler from Costco sometime soon. HOWEVER, I remember from one of my first jobs as a sandwich artist at Subway how the manager insisted that the coffeemaker be cleaned daily with lemon, salt and ice (for the pot) and vinegar-water for the actually brewing. We would brew big pots of vinegar water and then run two cycles of fresh water to clean out the vinegar. Vinegar is the miracle liquid, so why wouldn’t it work with the water cooler?

I pour a 1/4 glass of vinegar and filled the rest with water and dumped it into the now empty tank. I ran it through a few times and then many glasses of regular water to flush all of the vinegar out. Out came lots and lots of chunky, floaty, gross things. Yuck. However, after a while there were no more and so I considered my work done and put on a big water bottle. The first luke warm glass I tried tasted a lot like vinegar. Mmmm.

So that’s chunk problem #1 and it’s accompanying solution. Chunk problem #2 is more mysterious and involves booze. The super awesome cocktail book that my friend got me for xmas calls for fresh lemon and fresh lime juice to be mixed together. It says it can keep for two days BUT it also says you can use concentrate lime and lemon juice and it keeps for seven days. The problem is that when I squeeze limes* I tend to go on a lime squeezing bender and I make a ton of lime juice, to which I add concentrated lemon juice because you are hard pressed to find lemons in this part of the world. So I have all of this lemon-lime juice mixed up and I guess I need to drink more, because it’s never gone after two days (I start getting citrus sores in my mouth from drinking so much lemon-lime juice). Like nobody’s business the remaining lemon-lime juice turns, you guessed it, chunky!

First of all, chunky or not, I can’t imagine that the juice somehow turns poisonous and bad after 48 hours however unappealing it might look. I would think that it is still usable. Agreed? Second, what makes it chunky? Lemon, lime – hey, we’ll all citrus here. It’s not like I’m mixing lemons and milk or lemons and cheese. Juice and juice. Why is it chunky? Third, since I’m using fresh lime and concentrate lemon, shouldn’t the days average out and my juice be good for 3.4 days?

Tonight’s drink:

2 oz vodka

2 oz lemon-lime juice (chunky or smooth, you choose)

Splash of orange liqueur

Simple syrup to taste


Now shed some light on my lemony problem, my culinary friends.


  1. try freezing your lemon-lime for future use….
    as for the chunky? I will guess the fresh squeezed pulp starts to chemically decompose… but that’s just a guess.. I’m not taking any science classes this quarter to back it up

  2. Eeew. So I’m drinking rotting fruit juice? Awesome.

  3. ice is cheaper than a $34,000 water cooler..we use it alot UP here! i was going to suggest freezing the juice as well…in ice cube trays!!!

  4. Ice is pointless here. By the time you walk from the freezer to the couch, it’s melted!

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