Posted by: comfortjunkie | August 13, 2008

Squeamish? Skip this post.

I have a strange attachment to the local death paper. Every day, literally, there is a full-color photo of a corpse on the front page. Today was particularly gruesome and I know how much you weirdos enjoyed the severed head posts, so I’m actually posting a photo of the front page for you.

The Paper of Death

The Paper of Death

Since the paper is entirely in Spanish, this is what I have gleaned from the cover. MACABRE EXECUTION

Someone 30-35, short with tattoos of dragons on his arm and back (this is where I originally thought he was burned up by dragons) was found in the middle of the street behind the cemetery, presenting signs of torture and strangulation.

Ewww, gross, you might say. Oh wait, it gets better. There’s SEVEN more full color shots of the body in every conceivable angle PLUS four black and whites inside the paper (one with the caption, ‘no one saw anything.’)

so he’s unidentified but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that homefry was one of the recent causalities from the drug cartels.

I love this paper. America wishes it had a paper like this. Every day it’s something new. Last week is was people being eaten by crocodiles, unidentified bodies washing up on the islands, and of course, my friend’s neighbor who was shot six times. This is the “public security” section of the paper. The rest of the newspaper is totally normal and in fact, the web version contains none of the titillating graphic photos at all. Boo hiss. In the rest of the public security section there is an article about a gang of quad-runner thieves, a female car stereo thief and on the back a story about two people gravely injured and ONE DEAD in either a volcano accident or perhaps a roll-over car accident. Actually, the more I read, the more it seems like there were no volcanoes involved at all but instead a Jeep Grand Cherokee lost control and rolled over a few times. I think the volcano would have been more interesting.

Oh don’t worry, there will be more death papers in the future of this blog, you can bet on it.

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