Posted by: comfortjunkie | August 19, 2008

Random Dribblings

I have done something terrible to upset the insect kingdom. God only knows what. The other car while I was eating my savory fajitas, a caterpillar attacked me, thrice. At first I thought it was a fly on my toe, so I wiggled my toes but the tickle didn’t go away. Then I saw it was a fuzzy yellow caterpillar, so I flicked him off into the shade. Not but five minutes later, he was halfway up my leg! So I relocated him again. The third time he was barreling straight for my toe again (and his hairs were making my toe and leg itch from his last two attacks) so this time I had no choice but to curb his bloodthirsty desires by permanently relocating him to the netherworld.

When I returned from my trip, my house was spotless. My housekeeper, who was watching the four-legged, hairy, retarded children, had cleaned the house while I was away. Within moments of my being home, 37 million tiny beetles swarmed the house and now they are littering my floors, counters and walls. All night I had to swat them off of me and sit in the dark.

Lastly, I believe that there is a hornet nest of some kind somewhere in my house (I suspect the cow skull or the cupola) and I battled with a hornet for 20 minutes yesterday until he flew off to bother someone else. This was during my roast beef sandwich interlude which reminded that hornets ARE in fact called meat bees in some parts of the world (I looked it up).

I have been working hard to get my proposal ready for its final submission to the acquisition committee at the publisher. I have finally completed all of the changes. I am very, very excited to get final approval!

Last night I used my new super tool to make thick cut potato chips (really more of a cross between a fry and chip, a frip? a chy?) which I baked in the toaster oven. Since my toaster oven is small, I made several batches to determine which was the best temperature/time combination for the width I was baking. It is 350 for 30 minutes in case you were wondering. I am going to try to find sweet potatoes tomorrow for sweet potato frips.

My power bill was hideous this month (they bill two months at a time) so from now on I am limiting my TV watching considerably (because I stream video from my computer (on) to the xBox (on) to the TV (on) and listen to it through my high end receiver (on) and turning off the various fans that are in rooms that I am not.

I have discovered that one of the most active volcanoes in the world is right here in my very own state! Once I’ve gotten past the first of the month, I am planning a trip to the south to go peer into the hole in the top. Apparently people come from all around to study this volcano. Volcano eruption is on my list of  natural disasters to live through/experience so I’m really very pleased by this development. So far I’ve crossed off massive earthquake (7.0), flood (multiple major floods), plague (locusts), hurricane, and blizzard.

I still have tornado, volcano, and tsunami on the top of my to-do list. I can live without avalanche (does hwy 50 crumbling into a ravine count?) and drought (although they say every year that California is in a drought). I’m pretty much guaranteed a pass on tsunami and tornado where I live now. I’d settle for a giant water funnel if I could get one although I’m hoping for something a little more “Day After Tomorrow.” Man, that movie was AWESOME. I could watch tornadoes and tsunamis tear up major US cities for hours.

Somewhere there is another water leak in the hood because my street is now a gently babbling brook. It’s actually quite pleasant to listen to.

Yesterday I couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting a gas truck and today, now that I have cash for my propane tank? Not one in sight. Sigh.

I know it’s only August but if you plan on visiting this winter, please to be sucking up scheduling that soon as I am limiting my house guests this year to a maximum of three separate visitors for the season. To put that in perspective, I had nine separate sets of guests last winter and I’m not doing that again.

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