Posted by: comfortjunkie | August 23, 2008

The Longest Night

Yesterday was completely boring. Or was it relaxing? It’s hard to tell these days. It was nice and cool in the evening, enough so that when I went to bed, I snuggled up under the covers, grateful for the chill.

I went to bed at 11:30 last night.

At 12:15 I was dehydrated and drank all of the water by the bed. I was tired so I didn’t get up to get more.

At about 1:35 there was a terrible crash from somewhere in my room. I sat upright in bed but couldn’t see anything obviously amiss except the scattering of cats. Then I saw Grace O’Mally on my desk. “Use the door, jerk,” I told her. She likes to climb in through my bedroom window even though the door is a foot away and open.

At 2am I felt/heard something hit my bed and it was either a bird, a bat or a giant insect. Guess which one? Yep. A GIANT black beetle, the kind you would see at the Natural History museum pinned in the center of board with smaller beetles all around it. It was huge and it was black and it had great big horns. He was trying to crawl under my covers. I flicked him onto the floor, after all, I do have five frickin’ cats at the moment. For the next thirty minutes I had cats flinging themselves around the room trying to catch and eat the giant beetle.

Somewhere around 3:30 am I heard a loud clattering and glass breaking in the kitchen. I jumped up and ran into the kitchen to find Apollo once again leaving the scene. Luckily he only knocked a bunch of stuff over. If he had broken the glass container from my $120 blender, there would have been some serious repercussions.

At 7 am I got my morning wake-up call from the cats slithering all over the bed and wrestling with each other. I got up and opened the front door and promptly went back to bed.

So, I’ve got four cats for adoption… which one would you like? I will even deliver to anywhere in the world.

In even more wonderful news, when I found Ophelia outside, she was near death, emaciated like a third-world child on a World Hunger commercial and looking more like an alien than a kitten. When I took her to the vet to see if she would live, I asked the vet (because with her weird starvation body and the fact that she was like maybe 5 weeks old) whether she was a boy or a girl. “A girl! Ha ha HA HA” said the vet and the vet assistant, like it was the most obvious and hysterical question I could have asked. HA HA!

Well guess what? I just so happened to be making my daily effort to try to spend some time with Ophelia since she’s not really interested in people, only the other animals, and now that she’s healthier and more robust, it seems fairly apparent, that she is a HE or has some kind of seriously deformed girl parts. So adios Ophelia, hello Othello.

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