Posted by: comfortjunkie | August 28, 2008

and then I threw up

I am just sitting here, minding my own beeswax, reading my daily blogs and news, when I can across this story that made me want to throw up. Do you realize that in 1,000 years or when aliens land or whatever, that they are going to think that Kate Moss was our leader or our God? Is that what you want? IS IT? Is that what you want to convey to the aliens? That we worshiped a size 0 cokehead supermodel? A flipping gold statue. Argh!

So yesterday pretty much sucked the big one so I had myself a big pity party all day. I blew off pilates. I blew off much of my work. I wallowed and whined and wept bitter tears of sadness. I recounted my various woes and lamented on my destiny as a single, crazy cat lady. I tore myself down and today I will build myself back up.

Several things happened yesterday.

I appeared in a video interview with a tiny actress and a bunch of children. The result is that I look like a giant. It was also after a big rainstorm which I was very cavalier about standing in, waving off offers of umbrellas, never thinking I would be on camera. So I look not only huge, but also very wet rat. Excellent.

I found out that my father has cancer. Inoperable but treatable, but it’s still cancer, isn’t it? It’s scary. Interestingly enough, he left me a message on the night I had my dream that a male family member wanted me to kill them. They gave me a needle and I was supposed to inject them, but I couldn’t do it. It was a horrible dream. He left me another message the next day (I don’t load Skype that often, so I didn’t know I had messages), the night I dreamed that someone dropped my Grace O’Malley off the balcony of a high rise. Strangely, last night I had a dream that the rains washed the giant piles of dirt into the gaping chasms on my street and when I woke up the street was smooth, brown dirt instead of what it really is, rocks and crevices and canyons.

I found out that today is the day of reckoning for my book proposal. It is being presented to the acquisitions committee and I will find out tonight or tomorrow whether everything is a go.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.



  1. De-lurking (been reading, just keeping quiet lately) to let you know I’m thinking happy thoughts for you too, my dear. So sorry about your Dad.

    With minor variations, your second paragraph spoke volumes to me- I needed to read this today, and for that I thank you.

  2. I’ve been thinking about you and hoping that things get better for you, WM! I tell you, through all of my hardships my mantra has been, “this too shall pass.” Out of even the most dire of circumstances, opportunity has been born.

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