Posted by: comfortjunkie | August 29, 2008

On Queries and Bragging

I know it’s thought that you aren’t supposed to brag. You are not supposed to build up your own accomplishments or crow about achievements. It’s thought of as tacky and rude. And I don’t care. I’m of the PT Barnum school of thought, “without promotion something terrible happens…nothing.” I cannot tell you how many times just talking about myself and what I’m doing has resulted in new clients, jobs, new connections and more. I talk about my volunteer work all the time too (another no no) because i want people to get interested in and either give the org money or volunteer themselves. How are people supposed to know if you don’t tell them? So I do a lot of talking about success here (and my failures which I am not ashamed of) and in person. I hand out business cards to everyone I meet, no in a pushy and obtrusive way, but in an honest, please call me if you ever need anything, especially a freelance writer kind of way.

Ok, so the book…I saw the ad on Craigslist, posted in my area and of course, knew I was the perfect person for this job. This is my reply to the ad (names and stuff have been changed because its my blog and I can do that):

“I just saw your posting on Craigslist for a writer to update the LoompaLand guidebook. I suspect I would be a good fit for this position. I currently live and work in LoompaLand, having moved here permanently from Brewtown, USA more than a year ago. I have lived in several areas of the Loompaland Municpal Areas, including North Loompaland, Loompaland Central, and now the Loompaland Hills. I own a Undetermined Writing and More Writing company as well as working as a full-time freelance writer for a number of websites and magazines. My work has appeared in all of the local Loompaland newspapers.

I am intimately familiar with the hotels, restaurants and activities available in the area as well as many places that are off the beaten path. I’m a PADI certified rescue diver and have a solid knowledge of the diving, snorkeling and sport fishing industries. When I’m not working with my local clients or writing, I am volunteering at local charities. I teach English to 3rd and 4th graders at the Oompa Loompa School, an after-school program run by the Charitable Organization to teach local children English, math and computers. I also help out with the SPCA and Local Charity Name on occasion with their free spay and neuter clinics. I’m what you would call “well connected” in Loompaland.

Complimenting my knowledge of the subject matter, I have a degree in Journalism and more than ten years of experience writing. I have written a book that is currently being shopped around by my agent and also am an active member of the Loompaland Writer’s Group. I’ve included a link to my website and online portfolio where you will find many clips and additional writing samples. Below are two examples of my locally published writing.

<snip snip>

If you have any questions or wish to schedule a phone interview, please contact me.”

The pitch clearly explains Why Me and What’s In It for You.

And so yesterday I found out that after phone interviews and two complete book proposals (one original and one revised) that I am now going to author the next editon of this guidebook. The gig comes with a nice advance, royalties, and if I rock this one, the chance to do it every two years until zombies take over the earth or I give it up to the next author. Plus, it with a MAJOR publisher, a major publisher who in fact, publishes many books just like the one I’ve WRITTEN. So there could be a chance that they would want to pick up my book too.  In which case, I will by each of you a cocktail of your choice, yes, all four of you. Ha ha. Just kidding. There’s really SIX of you.

But most of all, this cements my place as an “authority.” Yesiree bob, when I pitch a story about Loompaland, you can be assured my name on that book will help it get published. This is, in fact, the singularly most important thing that has ever happened in my professional life (or even, with exception of birthing my beloved and angry child, my non-professional life). I am not only going to write the best guidebook ever written but I will promote the ever-loving crap out of it until every person in the free world is clutching their heads and screaming, “I will buy the damn book, just shut up and go away!”

For the people in the un-free world, I will contract with their dictators to purchase copies at a wholesale price and it will be required reading for everyone with a pop quiz at the end.

You will notice lots of new links today too. I finished cleaning out my bookmarks and put anything worth looking at over there.


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