Posted by: comfortjunkie | September 10, 2008

Adult Diapers and some other stuff…

Reviews of generic adult diapers…http://www.boingboing.net/2008/09/10/slate-reveiws-adut-d.html

just too funny.

I’m feeling less woozy today but more irritable. In fact, for the last two days, I’ve been seething about petty, stupid stuff. For some reason it reminded me of this short story I read on Boing Boing a couple of days ago about an angry dog named Ruby. I’ll admit I wasn’t in love with the story when I read it, but it’s been growing on me. I find myself haunted by an angry Ruby, because like her, my brain is angry and doesn’t know why. I know why…because it’s jonesing for drugs, which it won’t get. Sorry brain, sometimes I just have to step in to keep things under control.

I finally managed to stalk the water guy today. Unlike the rest of the neighborhood vendors, the water man has no inclination to announce his appearance on or near my street. The sweet potato man has a steam whistle. Each gas company has it’s own little jingle. The Popsicle and ice cream guys have horns and bells. The shrimp man yells, “camaron seco! camaron fresco!” Even the peanut man hollers for all he is worth, to say nothing of the mattress men, the plant guys and the giant 8ft tall duster salesmen (the dusters, not the men are 8ft tall).

I caught him today, through the pillars in my hallway, lurking in the shade of a neighbors house. I hung my arms out and waved them while shouting, OIGAN! Despite my wild arm waving and screaming, he hurried off down the road as silent as a wraith.

Fortunately, I already had one foot out the door, so I did what any desperate for water person would do, I stalked him. It occurred me that in this particular game, he is Pacman and i am a blue ghost. I finally caught up with him at someone else’s house a mile away. Sneaky bastard.

I forced him to commit to bringing me 15 gallons of water tomorrow. That should last me about two weeks. At that point, I will have to chase him down again.

Today I developed an absolutely genius guerrilla marketing campaign. I really have outdone myself this time. It is easily on par with the army of homeless people campaign I came up with previously. I will give you more details once I get everything in place. You will love it just like my client loved it. Having exhausted my brain of all coherent thought, I must now recharge through napping.

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Responses

  1. Now, are you stalking the water guy because he is hot or because you live in Mexico and drinking tap water will give you the shits for months?

    Really, I’m on board with whichever answer.


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