Posted by: comfortjunkie | September 11, 2008

Procrastinating more by 8am …

you know the rest.

I’ve got to work today. Odd how many days in a row I find myself saying this.

I’ll tell you, the Palin nomination has pretty much cinched my decision to figure out how to vote from abroad. She’s the scariest thing to happen to American since…well, ever. I’ll take “the big one,” mad cow disease, aliens at Roswell, a giant asteroid hitting earth, and killer bees over Palin. UNLESS she introduces a measure to add snake handling to the Pledge of Allegiance, in which case, I’m so on board. Please, America, please…no more rednecks in the white house. I beg of you. Just in case (considering a really scary article I read over at Boing-Boing about voting machine viruses), I’m going to start researching countries where I can become a citizen rather easily. It’s difficult in Mexico. It takes seven years or longer and they want you to know all this stuff about Mexico, probably like who the president is and some history and stuff. You know, things I don’t even know about my own country unless it was covered on Schoolhouse Rock.

I miss Schoolhouse Rock. If you think I’m kidding about this being the source of history I have for my own country, you should know I’m not. I took the obligatory history classes in college (didn’t bother to attend the HS ones), never paid a lick of attention, left early and spent the majority of my time drawing cartoons and making fun of my professor’s haircut.

When I lived in Boston and drove through Lexington every day on the way to work, past the battlefields of the American Revolution, I always hummed my Schoolhouse Rock songs.

If they remade Schoolhouse Rock now they’d probably do something stupid like make it all rap or have Britney do all the songs. Speaking of whom, so she went to the VMAs and didn’t suck. Big deal. I can’t believe that anyone even cares about Britney Spears anymore. After the last couple of years, she’s just a sad joke. She asked for her life, she makes millions of dollars so excuse me if I think the whiny bitch should just suck it up and stop acting like a victim off her meds. I have zero compassion for celebrities. ZERO. You want to make a million dollars a day for breathing, well, the price you pay is no privacy. It’s not like you didn’t know it going in. Waah, waah.

I am fascinated by other people’s jobs. I love to hear what people get paid to do but it’s also kind of sad. When you think about it, almost every job that isn’t movie star, astronaut, pro athlete, represents the crushed dreams of a human being. No one wants to be garbageman when they are little, or middle management, or barista, or bus driver, or…yet some path in these people’s lives have made this their job because not everyone can be a ballerina or a cowboy (although it’s amusing to think about an entire nation of ballerinas and cowboys). Perhaps if they are still young, they are biding their time until their big break but what of us inching towards middle age? At 35 there is still a chance that could become a celebrity author or maybe even an artist, you know, if I really put my mind to it. At 35 there is NO chance that will become a ballerina, movie star, rock singer, professional athlete, or astronaut. Zip. At 25 I was too old for MTV’s Real World (not that I wanted to be on it, I’m just saying).

>>>>>>>>>>>>>The rest of this post has been interrupted for breaking news<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I just found out that a publisher is interested in my book. VERY interested as my agent says. Stay tuned.


  1. I couldn’t resist responding. I know I am almost 40 but I still believe there is chance of become ballerina, I just need to click my heals, hold my eyes shut and taa-daaaa
    Totally agree about Sarah Palin. She looks pretty and all guys are drooling over her earlier pictures flooding the internet. But how do you live in the public eye and your daughter gets pregnant at 16? Doesn’t mean that if you can’t raise your daughter installing the proper morals in her most likely you can’t be part of ruling a country? Anyways it’s not like I’m going to vote. Here is article from Alaskan newspaper
    You can always try Bulgaria for citizenship. I watched a movie last night with Jean-Clod Van Damme. Dude shot is in Bulgaria.
    Sending good mojo your way  Good luck with the book

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