Posted by: comfortjunkie | September 16, 2008

well…crap

I’ve been feeling like crap since I wrote my post this morning, fresh from the misery that is waking up to a house full of kitten shit. The truth is that I actually really love the kittens and I want to keep Milagra. I just don’t want anyone to shit on my floor anymore. Is that too much to ask?

I am the type of person, who when giving out treat or scraps, makes sure that each animal gets an equal amount. I stand in the kitchen and personally oversee the distribution of chicken fat or ham rind. Well it’s true that Grace and Tsunami get more than the others, it’s because they are my favorites. Parents aren’t supposed to have favorites but they do. Sometimes they think they are sly about it but they are not. Heck, maybe they won’t even admit it to themselves but not me. Tsunami is my favorite followed closely by Grace. It doesn’t mean I don’t love the other a great deal, especially my other dog, it’s just that these two hold a special place.

So perhaps I will try again, this time following a friend’s advice and using a giant plastic tub as a litterbox.

I had to leave the house today to visit the pusherman, so I stopped at the supermarket to get a few things I forgot. I ended up buying a few little things to make me happy. Life can be so simple that way. I bought the tiniest and cutest jar of maraschino cherries and some personal sized pizza shells that came with tiny little packets of pizza sauce (I made myself a little Hawaiian pizza for lunch).

This morning a giant butterfly flew into my house. It was so incredibly beautiful that it kind of put my shit in perspective. It flew away before I could take a picture.

I just need to keep in mind that getting off my meds has made me more emotional and irritable lately and I’m headed towards a valley in my typical manic cycle. I’ve been this way my whole life but I’m not manic depressive. I just have huge peaks of activity (social, work, whatever) followed by a valley of total isolation so i can recharge. I’m plummeting now which is good because I couldn’t keep up the pace I’ve been going at. Ugh. Okay, back to work…

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