Posted by: comfortjunkie | September 18, 2008

Adios Gatitos

The kittens are going today. When I got up this morning, I was greeted first by a pile of mysterious internal organs, then catching one kitten in the act of peeing on the tile floor, when shooed, she led me to three giant piles of shit that were next to just the lower half of a large, dead lizard. It was only after all of this had been cleaned up that I found the mouse.

I’ve cried a river over this, my feelings of obligation towards finding them good homes and weighing the happiness of my own self. Of course, I’ve also recently cried rivers over making my coffee too weak, stubbing my toe, and my computer suddenly not talking to my xBox (so, I’ve been a little emotional lately, let it go). I’m taking them to the place where I adopted two of my other cats, a nice ranch out in the middle of nowhere where they will have 80+ playmates, food, water, and the ability to shit wherever they want.

So yesterday I dropped off Smelly and Smellier AKA my two dogs to the groomers for nail clippings and baths while I went and got a haircut from my tiny, gay hairdresser. Due to my purchase of this new super camera and accompanying underwater case, I once again find myself stretched for cash. That’s the beauty of being self-sabotaging, I’m so consistent at it. Having achieved the miracle of living with myself for 35 years, I’ve developed a knack for convincing myself of whatever it is that justifies being an irresponsible asshole with money. I told myself that NEEDED this camera to start this book, which after the credit card was authorized and the spell was broken, turns out to be completely untrue. I did NOT need this camera but I had convinced myself that I did and I bought it and I can’t cancel the order so there you go. Will it be helpful? Yes. Could it potentially earn me some more money if I get some good photos and can sell them? yes. Did I NEED it? No. So in light of now being as frugal as possible, I modified my much needed Spoiling day.

I got a one hour massage instead of the whole package I planned on and saved $50. I have asked for a massage therapist to reduce the pressure during a massage three times in my life and I get a lot of massages. This woman was brutal. She bypassed all of the muscle in my body to go straight to the bones to use those to massage (aka bruise) my internal organs. My butt and thighs feel like I did 300 squats yesterday. Still, I’ll admit, once she toned it down, it was a pretty good massage.

Instead of a nice lunch at a sit down restaurant, I went to a little Asian place and got some salad rolls. I miss ethnic food so much.

UPDATE: Please add three steaming piles of dog vomit to the list for today. Thanks. I have locked everyone outside. I am never opening the door again.

I came home and watched a Hugh Jackman movie called Deception. Meh. It was supposed to be an erotic thriller but I was less than thrilled. It’s a bad sign when I start checking email during a movie.

Now if you will excuse me, I have a lot of work to do this morning before my road trip. Also, stay tuned for exciting pictures of severed lizard heads and amazing concrete  pouring cranes.

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