Posted by: comfortjunkie | November 8, 2008

My Paper Pants

Yesterday it was off to one of the leading hotels and leading spas of the world for a tour. The hotel and grounds were beautiful, although pretty much everything pales in comparison to Tamarindo. Prices at this hotel start at $800/pp per night. Amazing, isn’t it?

The spa was amazing. I’ve been to a lot of spas in my life. Fancy ones and cheap ones, but this was def. one of the best massages I’ve had in my life. After undressing, you take a sauna followed by the steam room. When the steam started and shot out of the floor, filling the room, it alarmed me somewhat, but I was mesmerized by the giant menthol crystal sitting on a pedestal in the center of the room. Although there were no warnings, I knew it would probably not end well if I were to fondle the crystal, mostly likely I would then forget and rub my eyes and go blind. Instead I just sort of hovered over it trying to stop my compulsive need to touch everything in the world.

After the steam room was the cold drench shower and then in succession, the hot pool, cold pool, foot whirlpool and then warm full body whirlpool. During this time, since I did not have my bathing suit with me, I got some crazy paper pants and a paper … boob cover. Shirt would be too generous a description. It was waterproof paper a least.

From these fabulous treats, it was onto the lounge chair to drink bottled water and flip through the book containing all of the other leading spas of the world, making a mental note to find a way to visit each of them in my lifetime. Finally it was time for the massage. The therapist did a nice little foot washing ritual and then I climbed onto the comfy massage bed for easily the best massage of my lifetime (so far). There were hot stones and pressure points, perfect pressure and she was very thorough.

Afterward, there was peach tea. The cool thing about this spa is that even broke chumps like me can go and spend the day in the steam room and whirlpools for only $40. Next time, I am bringing my bathing suit. Also, you can get an all-inclusive day pass to the fancy pant resort for under $200 so even if you can’t afford to actually stay there, you can pretend you do from 9am-6pm. I can eat a lot of gourmet food in that amount of time, not to mention the booze.

Okay, glamour time is over now. This morning I am getting my first tattoo covered up with something not blurry and lame and then it’s off to the yacht club for their opening day.

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