Posted by: comfortjunkie | November 19, 2008

Licking the Mango Beach

As was interrupted from killing super mutants with rocket launchers in Fallout 3 by the sound of my phone. For the first time ever, someone actually called me just so I would get up and see who it was, thereby noticing that I had a text message inviting me for drinks. Brilliant! That is a clever use of the telephone and so much better than the actual calling someone to talk to them. I had to change my ring tone recently because the old one was making my eye twitch whenever I heard it. I’m now using Akon’s Gringo.

So, after the day that I had yesterday (which continued to grow in suckfulness), drinks were in order. I dolled myself up in 10 minutes and headed out the door. We went to a cute little restaurant and had some of the best Mexican food I’ve ever had (and remember people, I LIVE in Mexico). I had four chicken flautas covered with a little red sauce, sour cream and cabbage and three giant Cape Cods. Or was it four? I think it was three – but they were in huge tumblers and the last one was free. I love free. This place has indeared itself to my heart. Pity I can’t include them in the book because mom-pop places are the first ones to go when the rains come and the people leave. Hopefully they will make it and I can add them next time.

Since I was with a friend who also had a shitty day, we traipsed over to another more chi-chi restaurant that was on my list for more cocktails. I had two more drinks; she had a bottle of wine. I admire that kind of fortitude. After that we shared a molecular cocktail with the name of Bubble Fun Mango or something.

It was served in a martini glass and the first sip was not a happy surprise since the rim was coated, not in sugar like I was expected, but rather chili powder and salt. Gah! Once I got past the salt lick portion of the drink, I found the rest of it equally strange. It was a mango-salt flavored layer drink – the salty froth being on top, followed by a mango foam, followed by a mango ice ball – gelatin bubble ice bath at the bottom. It wasn’t revolting, it was, in a strange way, kind of okay. It was like licking the beach at an estuary at the foot of a glacier after a bad mango/sugar truck accident.

I hope they don’t steal that description for their menu without crediting me.

This morning, I am off to deal with the phone company and a mysterious collection letter I received threatening to cut my shit off if I don’t pay another million pesos. Extortionists. I’m excited though because I’ll finally get to try the taco place everyone freaks out about here, which happens to be in this mall. I ask people where their favorite restaurant is and a surprising number pick this mall-enclosed taco stand.

Tonight I’m also going to eat at the fanciest-pantsiest restaurant around to get it out of the way.

Now, you are probably gloating about my terrible misfortunes because I’ve been annoyingly smug about my free fancy hotels and spas, all perks of being an underpaid writer. Well, sorry to disappoint you, my internettles, Sunday I’m off to a jungle uber-luxury resort that is only reachable by BOAT and they just added a five star spa. Monday I return only to check into the fanciest hotel that my city has to offer and to dine at their restaurant.

Lest you think I’m bragging just to brag about it, you should know that this is what I want for your life. Quit your dead-end job, run away to a forgeign country, start your own business and experience liberation and terror and great rewards! Look at me not as an obnoxious braggart but as an inspiration and catalyst for change! Or you know, if that fails, obnoxious braggart works too.


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