Posted by: comfortjunkie | November 19, 2008

Pirate Skulls and underwear

So I received a mysterious collection notice in Spanish, and since it’s Mexico and I’m a shitty record keeper, I had to go and pay it today or they were going to shut my shit off. Mexico don’t fuck around with second notices. They say they will shut you down on the 20th, Jorge will be at your doorstep at 8:01am snipping the wires into your house.

So off I went, medicated and prepared to wait in a nine hour line at Telmex to pay a million pesos for a stupid phone bill from somewhere, one that I knew I had personally shut off in my last town. After that, I went directly to Chabelita’s taco de canasta because if you don’t get there early, you don’t get no tacos.

OMFG. I can see clearly why people rave about these tacos. I think there are four kinds but I don’t eat things with words I don’t recognize and I don’t like mole, so I settled for two papa (potato, gringo) and one frijol (bean). They were fresh and pressed into a succulent, greasy corn tortilla. I stuffed them with pickled spicy onions and washed it down with a fresh squeezed OJ the size of my head. Total cost? $5.10. Yeah, that’s right. So what if it’s in a mall … amazing.

I walked around after that and bought a cheap dress for tonight’s fancy-pants dinner and then hit the grocery store to get more Hawaiaan pizza fixins’. I found these pizza crusts that are low fat and then I just put on some pizza sauce, a little shredded cheese, some pineapple and lean ham – viola! Lazy lunch. In between my muttering to myself, I was also humming a Pearl jam song they were playing in a store I went into when I realized it was awfully quiet in the store. After finding all kinds of treasure, i went up front and realized the power was out. So the entire store, and only the store, not the rest of the mall, was without power and the scanners weren’t working – this means the store was crippled. Luckily I had my book so I parked my cart in line and read. I had some good loot and I wasn’t giving it up. Here’s what I stood in line for well over an hour for:

1 pair of black underwear with a silver skull and bones on them $2

1 pair of black and 1 pair of pink flip-flops that were on sale from $2 to $1.50

1 giant flea-market blanket (super fuzzy and awesome blankets normally found at the San Jose flea market) with a giant lion’s face on it. What? It’s getting cold here.

1 2-pack of men’s wifebeater shirts in black and gray $6

1 bottle of bailey’s $19 and a pack of instant mochas $3 (for those chilly nights under the lion’s face)

I mean let’s face it, I had you at the pirate underwear, didn’t I? If you wouldn’t have stood in line for pirate underwear, it’s probably because you are a communist. I bought some other stuff too, but that was the important list.

When I got home, I cleaned my yard. I know, it IS like the end of the world! Now I’m getting ready to play some video games before I take my nap and then take a shower and go out to dinner and then drinks and then … who knows? Anything could happen. It’s just that kind of day.



  1. I am SO jealous of your pirate underwear!!!!

    I would have waited in line too.

  2. Some day my friends, there will be a pair of pirate panties in every chest of drawers!

  3. pirate skulls and bones, sticks and stones and weed and bombs… in my underwear…

    I have rainbow skulls boxers, and I love them! So did creepy McPoolstories when I had to strip down to them to swim in his pool…

  4. I OWN pirate underwear already!!!

    I knew I liked you for a reason.

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